1. |
Outline Alaska
03:07
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Morning skin care regimen
Late for work again
Self-care, couldn’t care less
When jaw lines never blend
When were you last understood?
Stay. Outline Alaska
Wait. I think I got the basic shape
Days awake
Nervous wreck but patient
Smudging my foundation
More than a vacation, I’ll estivate
Emerge just like new
Stay. Outline Alaska (I’m going nowhere)
Wait. I think I got the basic shape (I’m going nowhere)
Day by day
North to the future
Done with this Midwest scenery
Lying in bed I try to sleep
I succeed
State/jaw demarcation
Stay. Outline Alaska (I’m gonna grow there)
Wait. I really got the basic shape (I’m growing old there)
Say, “Last day”
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2. |
Incognito
03:20
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Open up a window
I use incognito more than not
But who would see my history?
Why do I insist on private thoughts?
Open up a secret
No results for “real life body swap”
Magic in the Northwest
Feminine reflection looks distraught
Woke up as her unplanned
Pacing with phone in hand
I hope you understand
That I’m still me
The one you used to know
College parties, smoking Spirits
Things we’ve both outgrown
All I can do is pray to god you’ll see me through this
Even if you’ll kill me for my thighs
Can’t hide under my clothes
No more hidden wardrobe
Lo-fi hip hop radio
I need to relax slash chill tonight
Open up a window
Nervousness is better with some light
My hopes of yesterday
Reflected in my face
I’m terrified to say
That I’m still me
The one you used to know
Four a.m. bars, drinking High Life
Things we’ve both outgrown
All I can do is pray to god you’ll see me through this
Even if we’ve grown apart
Still me
The one you’ve always known
Growing tired of growing older
And not making this known
All I can do is pray to god you’ll see me through this
Promise we won’t grow apart
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3. |
Tiny Frame
03:10
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Intoxicated passion
Heart and head full of pain
No. That’s tomorrow’s problem
Right now I feel no shame
Face red and warm
Is this fire or just blush?
My limbs swoon
In this bar like a goddess
Secret’s out, abandon all self-doubt
He kissed me softly
She called my name
In this new body
I like my tiny frame
Bed sheets cold try to sleep in
My black jeans let’s hope they
Still fit tight in the morning
Finally found that missing fragment now
He kissed me softly
She called my name
In this new body
I like my tiny frame
Multiple nights of passion
Multiple days of pain
Hundreds of repressed problems
Why do I feel no shame?
Sleepless bender / Hot pretender / Surrender
She touched me softly
What was his name?
In this new body
I like my tiny frame
He kissed me softly
She called my name
In this new body
I like my tiny frame
Can’t have another night of this (disenchant)
Hope I wake up the same (disenchant)
Feels like a wish came true cuz (disenchant)
I like my tiny frame
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4. |
Three Sunrises
03:42
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A magical redesign
This spell must wear off in time
My end as a female’s nigh
I wasted my only night
Technically it’s Saturday but no one’s on the streets
So I’m the hottest person on the sidewalk
I can tell the birds agree with me
Three more blocks is all I’ve got
I’m fine
Zoning out or passing out I’m almost at the door
I wanna scream, I wanna breathe, I wanna sleep
And I’m exhausted but I pause
Three sunrises is all I had
I’m fine
Wish I had somebody else’s life
I’m fine
A magical redesign
This spell must wear off in time
My end as a female’s nigh
I wasted my only night
These sixty-five hours were right
The dawn chorus, my clock strike
This part of me soon will die
I wasted my only night
Maybe it’s the solstice or the hormones or the booze
But now I’m standing at my door and waiting, wishing on the rising midnight sun
All I want is one more night
I’m fine
A magical redesign
This spell must wear off in time
My end as a female’s nigh
I wasted my only night
These sixty-five hours were right (wish I had another life)
The dawn chorus, my clock strike (wish I had another night)
This part of me soon will die (wish I had another life)
I wasted my only night (I’m fine)
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5. |
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Mint green afternoons turn evenings with you
Proofing yeast, the scent still hangs in the room
Slow rising love life
Hold dear these days
My conscience weighs
“Everytime We Touch” comes on, we laugh
Makes me feel right at home in your grasp
Slow rising
Surprising
Love dyed green
Heart writhing
Unplanned trips to state parks, gas station food
Car rides just as fun as mountainous views
Opening up about our lives and our truths
Never told you
Hold dear these days
My conscience weighs
“Everytime We Touch” comes on, we laugh
Makes me feel right at home in your grasp
Slow rising
Surprising
Love dyed green
Heart writhing
Kneading my dough (Yours is cooled down)
Long way to go (Perfectly round)
Clings to my hands (Thoroughly cooked)
Start this again (Beautiful look)
Kneading my dough (Yours is cooled off)
This time go slow (Inside is soft)
It doesn’t rise (Crust golden brown)
Tears in my eyes (Talk of the town)
Clings to my hands (Thoroughly cooked)
Start this again (Beautiful look)
It doesn’t rise (Crust golden brown)
Tears in my eyes (Talk of the-)
“Everytime We Touch” comes on, we laugh
Always feel right at home in your grasp
How could I believe my doubts, I pass
Plus it’s such a tiny thing, who cares?
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6. |
Guilty
02:14
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I am guilty, oh so guilty
Oh, I’ve done it again
I had the chance to fix it now
And I know I’ll never make amends
I left a bread crumb trail of me
In lies, tall tales, and fibs
I’m breaking ground on my new lows
And I know I’ll never change it
I’m dirt, I’m filth, I’m nothing
These lovesick hearts are trusting
I am guilty, oh so guilty
Oh, I’ve done it again
I had the chance to fix it now
And I know I’ll never make amends
I left a bread crumb trail of me
In lies, tall tales, and fibs
I’m breaking ground on my new lows
And I’ll do it again
I’ll do it again
I’m dirt, I’m filth, I’m nothing
Our ever after’s crumbling
I’m piss, I’m puke, I’m semen
I am guilty, oh so guilty
Oh, I’ve done it again
I had the chance to fix it now
And I know I’ll never make amends
I left a bread crumb trail of me
In lies, tall tales, and fibs
I’m breaking ground on my new lows
And I know I’ll never change it
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7. |
One Polar Night
03:29
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Vacation north, solstice is here
One polar night eases my fear
The darkest day of the year
Drive up the highway till I find
This tundra’s terminus defined
So I can describe
My blood and skin realigned
The same old way it was
Vacation north, solstice is here
One polar night eases my fear
The darkest day, bone-chilling cold severe
Internal organs freeze, “goodbye”
My heart beats much louder
When no one else can hear it
I thrive in the ice
I want Elsa’s life
God knows I’ve tried
Vacation north, solstice is here
One polar night eases my fear
The darkest day, bone-chilling cold severe
Magic is nowhere near
Where is my body?
Where did it go?
Hidden below
Layers of snow?
The Dalton Highway
The place my old self stays
The Arctic Ocean
My new self found at Prudhoe Bay
I see my headlights
Cut through blue twilight on the way
I see my skin peel
I see my old self in the grave
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8. |
Judgement Day
01:32
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These decorations are kitsch
Used to appreciate quirkiness
“Stay whatever days you want”
I hope my suite has no mounted fish
I’m treading water in a single room
I’m contemplating my impending doom
They say, “there’ll be a judgment day,
Hell raised” hoping seven trumpets will play
In this hotel room tonight (Hoping seven trumpets will play)
Memories of you start to fade away (“That’s such a generic line”)
I’m treading water in a single room
I’m contemplating my impending doom
I’m treading water in this quirky room (They say, “there’ll be a judgment day,)
I’m celebrating my impending doom (Hell raised” hoping seven trumpets will play)
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9. |
CRT
03:15
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You’re my RCA cable
Not outdated
But if that means
I’m an antique
Old CRT
With barely a speck on the screen
I can be
Your guarantee
Life warranty
Dead pixels covered for free
You’re my VCR
Rewind
And let me take back
All the things
Petty and mean
Still on my screen
Scotch tape where a tab used to be
I can be your guarantee
Life warranty
Dead pixels covered for free
And if that means
We can’t be “we”
I’m fine with “she”
As long as I’m still on your screen
I can be your guarantee
Life warranty
Dead pixels covered for free
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10. |
Drupe
03:07
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Moving back to the Midwest is a failure
It’s romanticized to death, I guess
Now I’m back at the restaurant
That I left when I moved away: cross-continent
I asked for forgiveness
You said that time will tell
Flowers and trees look different
But the birds they sing the same
It seems
Maybe I just cannot tell
Have I failed at that as well?
Flowers and trees look different
All the beer and the cheese taste different
But my body looks the same: no grace
I look back at, at Alaska and I feel like
Like I left too many things all unresolved
I up and left, you weren’t involved
I didn’t know what I would say
But all I do is miss you
Flowers and trees look different
All the beer and the cheese taste different
Everything that I do seems different
But the words remain the same: I loved your heart
So I’ll erase your face
Batching cocktails in the back
When I hear a dorky laugh
It’s your first time in the state
And I’m wondering why you came
Is it for a business trip?
Or to see how the Midwest lives?
But you say, “It’s someone”
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